Bris Remarks

It’s a game we play
from time to time,
Re-writing what we’ll say,

When DH will get up to speak,
On that long-awaited day.

(Come to think of it,
there may be two,
or dare i suggest three?
A triple Bris, thanks to IUI,
Or was it the HSG?)

In any case,
Long or short,
It’ll go something like this,
DH will say the following,
at our miracle baby’s bris –

“I’d like to thank the endo,
The urologist, gyncologist too,
genticist, andrologist, phlebotomist…
– hang on, I left out a few…

(Let’s not forget the wackos,
Though they lacked a medical name,
And all the thousands of dollars,
That slipped slowly down the drain…)

For pushing and prodding us along (literally)
For giving us a shot (you bet!)
To our devoted medical team,
Who gave it all they got.

Now less you think we only gained,
In hormones and in stress,
We also acquired knowledge,
As we journeyed through this test.

We thought we knew our alphabet,
Abbreviations meant “lol, omg”
But our appreciation for shorthand expanded,
As we tried to build our family.

We used to think I-youI
Was a couple’s way to fight,
Now we know it’s more than that
I‘m I-ing U with delight
(…sorry no news there…)

And PGD sounded like,
a real fancy degree,
Little did we know it was
Post Grad Diploma for Infertility

ICSI was confusing,
till we realized it could mean,
I Care So I can say whatever I want,
(Primarily employed by close family!)

Think OHSS is painful?
It did take us a while,
Oh Hashem Send Simchos
We’d respond to that with a smile.

Now in case you were wondering,
Why we put the cock’s crow to shame,
Why our fridge shelves were off limits,
Why our sense of humor lame…

Why our chocolate disappeared alarmingly,
While our moods went for a swing,
Why you got a disjointed answer,
When we waited for the phone to ring

Why when asking what day’s today
You got an incomprehensible reply
And why from a simple “how are you?”
Did we in shock run off to cry…

Well here’s the answer to it all,
We’ve waited to tell you with glee,
It’s simply none of your business,
It’s all part of non-(re)productivity!

But let us not be ungrateful,
To all you folks, it’s true,
Your advice simply moved us to tears,
Let’s give credit where is due!

This we kept on hearing,
Now do you let me ask,
Has anyone cured anything,
By abiding to “just relax”?

Pineapple core, a glass of wine,
But only white will do,
Labor cake, rubies red,
…we’re just naming a few!

Now, we can be here for hours long,
But we can’t take much time from you
Surely you don’t have all day,
As infertile people do…

So in honour of Plastic, Silicone and Badatz*,
(our little boys numbered three)
Named that way due to hashgacha,
and cuz they were conceived “unnaturally,”

We’d like to bless you all who came,
May you just never know,
All we’ve seen and felt and heard,
May our simchos overflow!

PS: the one stumper that our bris entails
we haven’t got a clue,
who will be our kvatter?
not me, i promise u! 🙂

*this is a joke. loosen up.

Upward always,
Shevy

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