The “Ill”ities of Life

Insurance backing out on the first day of your cycle definitely makes life exciting! So after a looong day that involved 4 pharmacy visits, and no less than 6 clinic visits (no, I’m not exaggerating, and yes it all worked out in the end!) we sat down, DH & I, for some quality bonding time. As we pondered our extreme knack for all things trouble, it suddenly dawned on us that the majority of our woes end with the dreaded “-ility” Here’s how:

Stability: or instability to be exact. Something our lives are severely lacking as our insurance company goes haywire. Additionally, a mental state our doctors have not yet mastered.

Mobility Another sore point. Do we bus, taxi, walk, or drive, to yet another appointment? Answer: Run, you’re late!

Hostility: The mutual feeling between yourself and the pharmacist who refuses to discount your meds even though you’re eligible. Which brings us to…

Eligibility: Eligible or not you gotta do / take / swallow / inject / infuse / scan / observe / monitor what you gotta do / take / swallow / inject / infuse / scan / observe / monitor. If you’re ineligible you just gotta pay up!

Compatibility: The sad realization that you and your latest dose of drugs just don’t click. Meaning side effects will occur. In example: hide that chocolate fast! Consider yourself warned.

Liability:  Not to be confused with its friendly cousin, Reliability. No, this is “liability” as in, “we will not be liable if you cycle results in quadruplets.”

Dependability: A skill our clinic has yet to attain. Same for our monthly visitor.

Inability: Best explained as ability, but lacking. Such as the inability to reproduce. But we’re not lacking in that, uh-uh! (ok, maybe just a little…)

Sensibility: Why would any sensible human being get up at 6 am, if not for a screaming baby? (ever wondered? well, I could tell ya that….)

Credibility: Lacking. In everything we say. We will bluff, fib and fife rather than explain our seemingly irrational behaviour and serial work absences to every self-respecting yenta who bothers to ask.

Motility: If you don’t know what this means, this post is not for you.

Infertility ’nuff said.

Upward always,

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