So There!

There’s been a lot swirling around my head, as we recoup, rethink, and try to fortify ourselves for what’s up ahead. Second opinions, third opinions, more testing, different meds, adjusted dosage, change of protocol… hang on, can we just breathe? Sometimes it feels like we’re just treading water, trying to make sense of things while keeping our heads above ground. It takes effort, and it’s exhausting. Inspiration? Nah, I’m too busy just living.

Ideas for new posts keep coming and going, but I’m too befuddled to sort out my thoughts, can’t seem to attain enough clarity to formulate my feelings into cohesive words. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I realize that as super-human humans, there’s only so much we can do. If today, all I’m able to achieve is a clean sink, a couple hours of work, and ordered dinner in time for when my husband comes home, well then, hava nagilah. (Yes, that’s our version of hakuna matata. No questions please.) Do I cut too much slack? Yes, some say. But for now, allow me to focus on keeping my chin up, and a smile on my face.

Someday, I might actually be able to have a sparkling house, gourmet supper, ace my college work, and excel at my job while juggling myriad appointments and the toll they take. (Oh, and keep up writing my inspiring blog to boot!) Until then, allow me to celebrate my current reality of limited capabilities and honest-to-goodness real life finitude with some delicious takeout. Come to think of it, a good book wouldn’t hurt either.

I’ll be back at it soon – I hope! – with loads more enlightening thoughts and overall deepness, be”H. This little cognitive vacation of mine will be short lived, I know, but for now I’m going to enjoy every second…

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