Unsung Heroes

To My Sister in Waiting,
You know who you are, my unsung hero. From the outside, people admire your strength, and curiously wonder about the struggles you face. They don’t understand you, don’t understand the depth of you challenge. They try, as they cluck sympathetically and offer enlightening bits of unfiltered wisdom. Surely, if you would just heed their words, you’d give birth in no time. If only they’d know.

You married with hopes and dreams like the rest of us. A happy home, full of children and joy. Precious infants, dimpled toddlers, precocious preteens… love, warmth, opportunity. But there are none. Your arms are empty, and my heart aches as I watch the stares. It’s not her, I want to shout, it’s not her! Don’t you understand? You smile sadly, it doesn’t matter, after all. But it does.

True, the challenge is yours – plural. Something you were meant to be overcome together. But it matters. Because without knowing it, there’s no way we can ever understand your strength. You are your husband’s protector, his wife. Valiantly, you assure him that it’s ok – really, that this is what’s mean to be, that this is the plan. You smile for him, hiding your tears, lest he realize the extent of your pain.

With a courage that one can nary comprehend, you brave it all. Shameful remarks, invasive treatments… Your experience runs the gamut, and yet you keep your head held high – for you, for him. This is our journey, you say, it makes no difference. My friend, do you realize your strength?

We read about castles and princesses, women who host and bake and raise children by the dozen – the heroes of our world! – and you my friend, remain unsung…

So while my writing is nothing less than the rambling of my heart, let this be my ode to you – to your valiant strength, your unassuming courage and the beauty that permeates everything you do. Eishes chayil mi yimtza – in you my friend, she can be found.

With love,

2 thoughts on “Unsung Heroes

  1. Thank you!!!!
    It can be hard being strong for my husband, but never thought of it as heroic. Thank you for reminding me of the true strength and bravery that exists between a husband and wife through all the challenges that life ( Hashem! ) sends our way!
    My we only grow stronger together!

  2. Amein, H!
    While I only wrote this post now, it’s been on my mind ever since I attended a recent A Time event. I came back so inspired by the actual people there (never mind the amazing program!) that I felt I just had to share! My friends in waiting are most definitely my heroes – I’m glad you agree 🙂
    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!

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